My Teacher Wish List

  

 I completed my first semester as a teacher…. WOW is all I have to say!

I wish I could of put a camera on myself so everyone could take part of the experience I faced as my first semester of being a teacher. I don't think people outside of the field get it… teaching is one heck of a profession {Can I get an AMEN?!}. I under estimated the amount of energy and work it took to be a "real" teacher… Mind you, I had years of practicum experience and student teaching…it's absolutely not the same!

The exhaustion for putting ever ounce of your mind, heart, and body into what you are doing is killer.

Throughout my first five months of teaching I have been broken a part as a person, and put back together again.  I cried a lot in the five months…. Heck, I cried more in one week, than in an entire year! Not to sound like wimp, but I was given a challenging class (no that's not to sound like a complainer either). I think I've seen every possible misbehavior in the 5 months, than most…. You'd be a surprised what a first grader is capable of.

I have had six year olds curse, throw chairs, punch one another, tell me I am stupid, kick me, break my items on purpose…. and more. But at the end of the five months, all I have to say is, thank you.

Thanks to my students, I have grown as an educator and as a person. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to let go of your ego {In Frozen terms, "LET IT GO! LET IT GO!}. I had to put my ego aside, and think of what was best for my students, and with that I had to ask for help. My amazing staff understood what I was facing, and supported me fully through the growing pains. 

After asking for help things have gotten better. I stopped questioning if education was really for me, and started to realize this is exactly where I need to be. I stopped getting a stomachache coming to school from the nerves of "what will happen to me today". I stopped crying, which is great because it's not my thing.

I started seeing improvements in my relationships with my students, and the relationships between the children. I started to experience small victories for each student academically. I started to realize that teaching in itself is a mission. I started to feel like I was making a difference.

Overall, I am so GRATEFUL for the challenging semester. Throughout every challenge there is something to learn.

Any-who… It would be impossible to share my full first year experience as a teacher in a blog post…. If you'd like to grab a cup of coffee I'd love to share or answer questions! As for now, I share my wishes for my students…

Wishes as a Teacher

_______________________________________

1. I wish I could save every child. 

Through this experience my heart has been broken and exposed to the reality of the young generation lives'. My students are only 6 and 7 years old and they know the harsh reality of life far too well. I wish I could save them from feeling hungry, hurt, or unloved. Some of things I hear my students say to one another or to myself breaks my heart. If I could put a magical orb around them all from the pain and the ugliness of the world I would! 

2. I wish they knew the amount of love that I have for each and everyone of them.

I found myself buying pencils, art supplies, and etc. out of my own pocket…something I knew that was going to happen when I became a teacher. However, when you find yourself knowing how much your students love Frozen, so you decide to buy the Frozen pencils that cost $1 more, you'll do it to just to see the smiles on their faces.

There is always that one student, who is naughty, and you have to tell them to move their clip down on the behavior chart…but you still find yourself being their biggest cheerleader to turn their day around.

Or just simply giving each student a hug… I wish my students knew when I said goodbye with high five or a hug that they knew I was proud of them, and that I look forward to see them the next day. I would completely crumble into a million little pieces if something awful happened to my students. My role in their life is more than a teacher…it is a role model, and another person who can nurture them. Unfortunately, not all students receive the love they need. I wish they knew the amount of love I poor on them daily, even when it's a rough day, or even if they refuse being loved by me.

3. I wish I could give students the confidence they deserve. 

One of the hardest things about teaching is giving students the motivation to learn when they have given up on themselves. How could a six year old know they are "dumb"?! Who puts that in their brain?  Quite honestly how could a six year old be dumb? They are STILL learning!!! I wish they knew that they could do anything they put their mind to. They CAN read, they CAN solve math problems.  I had a lot of students who would shut down in a specific subject just because someone told them they couldn't read, or they were teased on their answer in math. My students were so afraid to get the answers wrong, that they wouldn't try. It's hard to see the lack of motivation at such a young age. I know my students are all smarties in their own way!

4. I wish had all the patience in the world, for each student….no matter how hard the day is.

I'm not saying I do not have patience…but when you have 25 six year olds to take care of for 8 hours (Some days without a break)…. you get a little frazzled and your patience begins to grow weak (especially if you're not having a good day yourself). Some days I find myself thinking…was I too mean to them? I wish I had all the time in the world to fulfill their needs, answer all of their questions, and listen to all of their little stories. I wish I could listen to all tattle, because I know there is something about that tattle that is bugging them…even when we find ourselves as teachers saying, "Is it a tattle? If so, give them a "bug" and a "wish". Unfortunately we are all human, and we have stress of all the requirements it takes of being a teacher… and sometimes that makes our patience weak.

5. I wish they knew how unique they are.

As teachers, you can normally pick up a paper with no name and know which student it belongs to based off their handwriting, or what they are writing about. Yep, I know that "Bob" always writes his S's backwards no matter how often I remind him. Yep, I know this paper is "Sally's" because I saw a horse drawn on it, with the same purple crayon she uses on all of her drawings.

I know that when I pass out construction paper that so and so will demand to have the yellow paper, or a tantrum will go down in five seconds.

I know that "Billy-Bob” will always make me laugh with his silly comments and gestures.

And because of their unique quirks, they all have a special place in my heart.

6. I wish I were rich.

Of course teaching doesn't pay well… Honestly if you just gave me a penny for each time someone told me that, then I would be rich.

I don't want the money to buy a fancy new car or all the materialistic items (okay secretly I want a car, but I am not motivated by money…nor would I pick out a fancy car).

I would love to have the money to buy each my students items they needed. I have seen students come to school with stained and ripped uniforms because they can't afford to buy new clothes. Shoot! I just wish I had the money to buy them a stinkn' eraser or a huge pile of tissues!

 Money is tight as a teacher. I'm constantly looking for donations, or finding things to make with stuff I have to make a more successful learning environment.

I'd say over half of the money I earn, I put back into my classroom. I would be lying to you if I said I can successful walk through target without buying them something in the dollar section…. It's a trap! And if you say, "You can write it off on your taxes." Well let me tell you, you can all write off a couple hundred dollars worth…and if you're a teacher, you'd know a couple of hundred dollars doesn't get you much for 25 kiddos.

I just want my students to have all the resources of a successful learning environment!!!


7. I wish I could make everything "fun". 

No matter how hard I try, I can't make every lesson fun. With the state requirements, and the push to meet test scores… You don't always have the time to make a game on the content you're teaching.

I wish there wasn't this must pressure on scores in education. I get why we do it… we have to be accountable of our teaching… but overall, students would achieve more victories if they had fun learning the content, and they would want to learn.

I wish my students knew that I try to be a fun teacher when possible! Heck, I have embarrassed myself singing and dancing in and out of the classroom just to see them smile, and hear them laugh.

I want them to look forward to coming to school.

8. I wish I could help more.


I wish I could solve each student's weaknesses, and make it their strength. I wish I could say that I have a full class of high level readers and mathematicians… but that’s not real.

It's a challenge to teach a child how to read. Honestly, the English language doesn't make sense…

I wish I found a tool that worked for every child, but as educators we know that all students are all so different. There are methods out there that we never even experienced, seen, or heard of that could benefit a student…and sometimes it takes years to hear it through the grapevine.

If I could sit on my students' shoulders and sound out all the words to them, I would. I wish I could be by each of them as they solve a tricky word problem.

I wish I could find the root of the student's struggle right away, so they can be more successful.

9. I wish my students liked me as their teacher. 

I know it sounds silly and far-fetched. Some educators want their students to tremble in their seats with the sound of their name… I mean, that's awesome classroom management if you're into that. 

Of course I am stern and real with my kids. It's not always rainbows and butterflies in my class {most days aren't}. Sometimes I have a kid who has to move their clip to red by the end of the day… and they hate me for hours or the entire day because of that… and I hate that feeling for ruining someone's day. 

But honestly, I just want my students to respect me the way I respect them. I know, I know… I'm in the wrong profession for that. Teachers are most likely to put their feelings on the back burner, because it's all about the student's feelings and their success…. not me, and I get that.  But by defense, I'd love for my students to walk out of my class and think, "Miss Short is pretty cool". I would love for them to want to come to my class because they feel safe and supported. 

10. I wish my students knew I prayed for them. 

I pray for them to have a safe night, weekend, and summer. I pray that they do not struggle in home or school situations. I pray for a happy future for each and every one of them. 

As educators we are not allowed to bring religion into the field… it's a huge no-no! It's hard when I know for the fact I was given these students, because God knew we were going to grow from one another. 

Even though I am unable to confess my faith to my students, it has been the solid foundation of what I teach. I teach my students to love one another, be the good in the world, and know things will get better. 

In the beginning of the year I put a magnet on my class door that says," Never, never, never give up." Personally it was something to remind myself as I faced hard days. But my kids began to notice it and used it as a support system to one another. One of my favorite things a student said in my class was, "Remember we never give up in Miss Short's class, you can do it!".

I firmly believe we are in this world to support each other. When you begin to have a group of students who are being the good, just because you consistently teach them what a good person looks like… I think I served part of my mission on this earth. 

                        _______________________________________
I will miss my very first set of kiddos. It has been a roller coaster, but I am completely grateful for the ride! 

I wish the best of luck in their next school year! <3

The Transition

Disclaimer: I write my corky blog posts to express my thoughts…my thoughts are pretty much a huge tumbleweed inside my head. I apologize if this doesn't make sense to you. :)

________________________

It's hard to believe that I have been teaching for three months now! Where has the time gone?!

I recently was asked by my professor at GCU to come talk to student teachers about the transition into my role as a first year teacher. As I sat and ponder about the best advice to give student teachers that I once was in class with… I began to think of how crazy the transition from college to career really is. I felt like no matter what I told the student teachers, it wasn't going to be good enough. No one can teach or prepare you for the emotions you will encounter through the journey into finding a career…and even the emotions you'll have when you have your "dream job".

Sure, you go to school for 4+ years and study your future career, write a ton of papers, stay up way too late at night… but what does college teach you about the transition? (Mind you I'm not putting down my college experience..but just think about it)

As I began my transition from college to career, I was not prepared of the emotions I was about to encounter. The stress from putting in applications/resumes, the insecurity of not finding a job, having a weird "homesick" feeling from living off campus without your friends, and then to all pressure of where you should be as a college graduate. There were days I felt completely drained from running around like a chicken with their head cut off. I had no idea where my life was going...and what I should be doing. 

The best way I can describe this feeling, is like the first time you take off your training wheels on your bike and you just go for it...you hope you don't fall over...but then you realize you have to fall eventually  before you grasp the skill of riding a bike. It is by far a nerveracking moment. You want to succeed, but knowing there are going to be a lot of  "falls" on the way until you reach your destination. Let me just tell you I had a ton of falls, or moments where I felt I wasn't riding my "bike" in the right direction.

________________________

After I wrapped up my night up with the student teachers, I went to see some friends that still attended GCU. Most asked about how life is...and all I wanted to do was laugh at the question. During this whole time of transitioning I have felt like a sock in washmachine, just tossed around, drowning in soap and water (Yes, a weird thing to feel like, but you must know who's blog you are reading). In the past three months I have been drowning in new passwords to memorize, names to master, "to do" lists the size of Mount Everest, master being an adult, while trying to keep my own health and happiness under control. Sure it's not a lot to those veterans who have been "adults" for a while…but lets face it….when its brand spankin' new, its a A LOT!

I was one of those people who said "I can't wait to get out of college, and do life!"… A phrase I wish I hadn't said. I would give anything to be in the little safe haven that college is. You don't realize how easy, and good you had it until it is gone! So for all of those that are saying statements like this...STOP! Enjoy your college experience. Sure writing papers sucks…but just wait until big kid life happens. Once you're in, there's no going back.

Life after college has been quite a struggle for me to adjust to. I lived in moments where I had no idea what was next. A HUGE adjustment when I was so comfortable planning my little life before. I had little to no control where my career was going to take me (or if it was going to take me anywhere). I have felt a different sense of loneliness I am not used used to. I don't have my friends just doors down from my room to go hangout with… In fact, that was the hardest things to get used to. It's hard seeing your friends that still attend school having such a great time going to all the school events, while you're trying to managed a new set of responsibility. I didn't realize how great the community my college had, and how my peers supported me day to day. Once you get thrown into the real world you don't get much encouragement.

Mind you, I am not complaining about my life now. I am extremely excited where my life is and where it is headed…but I'm not going to sugar coat it….it has been a very long and hard process. This blog is not to scare you from graduating, but to encourage those that are still in school to enjoy the time, and for those who aren't…to tell you it will all work out.

I encourage you to just breathe, and have faith in God. Your life will unfold, and you will reach your destination. It will take some band-aids and tears to be an expert bike rider.

xoxo-Natalie 

Diaries of the Newbie Teacher

So your a teacher now what…..

In a matter of weeks my life has changed in so many ways.  A few weeks ago I was worried I wasn't going to find a teaching position in general education…and boom…everything just fell into place, and here I am as a first grade teacher. I was only given a couple of weeks to set up my classroom, and lesson plan. I felt like a chicken running with my head cut off… I still feel that way.


I have worked countless hours getting to this point of my life, and it is finally here. I haven't even had the time to even let it soak in. Somedays I find myself driving to school, thinking I am just going there to be intern, or a student teacher…but the reality is these are my students, and I am their TEACHER! {Crazy!}

During this whole process (and it is still a process), I have been moody, a fountain of tears, and stressball who can't seem to get anything accomplished. I so badly want to succeed and not let anyone down... or myself down, that it has taken a toll on my mood. I am so worried in failing at this whole teaching thing. Almost everyday I leave with the biggest headache, due to the amount of thoughts that run through my head. I tell everyone I come in contact with that I am fine…but in reality, I am roller coaster of emotions!

Not to sound cocky, but I have been given many compliments from different schools, districts, teachers, and parents that I have been a great teacher…but why is it now that I have my own classroom, I feel like a complete failure? I look at the little 25 faces that stare at me…or look away… and I wonder if they are even hearing anything I'm saying, or if they even like me. 

I think the biggest thing they can't teach you in college and within student teaching, is the feeling you get as a first year teacher. (Mind you, I am crazy for taking on a mid-year position, so it is WAY different). You will reach the highest point of being overwhelmed you could ever imagine. Just think of everything you have to learn… where is the bathroom is, what do I do if there is fire drill, who do I call if…, all the school's policies, district's policies, how do I get their test scores, etc… Then you add 25 kiddos on top of that….their parents….their stories. It's A LOT!!! 

I am beginning to realize that your first year of teaching is a year full of doubt. I know I am following my maps to hit the standards, but am I being effective to the students? I am just a newbie what do I know? 

I question everything I do. No matter how many years of college you take, or the experiences you have working with kids, you will feel like you're not teaching "right". The first time I felt confident with something I was teaching, was when I saw another first grade teacher printing out the same thing I found online… I guess I might be doing okay…. 

In the back of my mind I know my first year of teaching is not going to be glorious. But I never imagined I would feel the way I do now. I find myself crying on the way home from school (it's a 45minute to an hour drive just to think), coming home sitting on the couch completely exhausted…and sore… (I still don't understand how I am sore). I would be lying if I told you that I didn't question being a teacher everyday. How nice would it be to have a job where you can walk away from each day, knowing you left everything there…and don't have to worry about anything when you get home…but that is not teaching. The first year jitters really tugs on your heart and your mind. Teaching is not a job that stops at 4pm, Monday through Friday. You find yourself constantly thinking of your students and what you could do better. Is takes a toll on you physically, because it hits you hard…or at least it hit me hard in the face. It's not like I didn't know this in the beginning, but when you actually feel it, it is much different. 

-------------------------

Throughout the chaos, I know teaching is right for me. (No matter how often I doubt myself).

I never realized how teaching is a mission within itself. I do not have to go to another country to serve the Lord.  I am serving him within my own classroom. Of course I can't preach, or share my religion with my kiddos, but the love these kids need is EXTREME. I teach at a school, where my kiddos come from all walks of life. There are students who are in group homes, foster homes, bounced around from one guardian to the next, parents that make poor choices, etc…. Some of these kids are rougher than others. Within 7 hours, I try to love them the best I can, and try to teach them how to be a respectful human being. Simple things such as not farting or burping, not talking with their mouth full, encouraging others, and helping those who need help. I know that I might be the only consistent person in their life, and the only person in their life that might be a good role model. I know that ever student I encounter might not like me… which is hard for me to except…but I still care for them. 

I know I won't see many successes as I begin, but I know in my heart I am giving it my all. Sometimes in life we have to make huge leaps of faith. It is difficult to be uncomfortable, doing something completely different than you are used to…but those make the best chapters in our book of life. This is a process, and it can only get better. 

-------------------------

I could use all the prayers as I go on with this journey. Please pray for my students too. xoxo

Silly Students

I decided to write this blog about the silly, cute, or ridiculous things my students have said or done throughout my student teaching experience. I wasn't able to record all of them, but here is a list to keep you giggling. If only you could be on a fly on the wall to see what was going on during the time. I hope you enjoy! :)

(Please keep in mind these kiddos have squeaky little voices, so everything sounds much cuter)

1. Me : "What is Constitution Day?" Student: "Wednesdays when it rains."
2. Student: "You're not allowed to have boyfriends in first grade, right, Miss Short? Me: Right! We can't have boyfriends until we are 52."
3. Student: *Hands me a picture of drawing with a dog and person* " Miss Short this for you. I know how much you like dogs, because you are always talking about them."
4. Me:  "What make you happy." Student: "Vacuums".
5. A student would call me any size references, except Miss Short. For example, Miss Small, Miss Little, etc. He finally got it right within the 4th week in….haha! 
6. Student: " Miss Short, I can read now!"
7. Student: What are you going to do this weekend Miss Short? 
   Me: What do you think teachers do on the weekends? 
   Student: Well I don't know. You don't have kids or a husband.... So you'll probably just sit on the couch and watch tv and do nothing?
   Me: Mmmmmm... Haha sure!!!
8. Student: *Student attacks me with a huge hug* " I love you Miss Short! You help me learn so much!"
9. Me: " Have you ever had a horrible day"  Student : "Never! Not even if I put stepped in a bowl of cereal!"
10. Me: "Did you learn a lot about bees?" Student: "Yes, but there is so much more to learn! I don't want to be done learning about bees!"
11. Student: "Sorry,I just couldn't hold that burp in!"
12. Student: "Miss Short, do you think you will get any presents from Santa." Me: "I'm not sure. Do you think I've been good enough?" Student : "I don't know. You give us a lot of work."
13. Student: " I want to be a teacher." Me: "Why?"  Student: " So I can eat pretzels whenever I want to." 
14. Student: "Miss Short, can I read these words to you?" Me: "Of course!" Student: "Do you think I am a good reader?" Me:" I think you are a super reader!" Student: "YES!"
15. *Random surprise hug while I'm sitting in my chair*
16. Student: " I hate kissing." Me: "Ya, it's disgusting."
17. Student: "You're leaving us?" Me: "Yes, I am going to be a teacher at another school." "Oh no! I'm going to miss you! You're going to make a great teacher."
18. Student: "All I want for Christmas is a Michael Jackson glove."
19. Teacher: " What would you do to make the Grinch grin?" Student: "Sing him Christmas carols."
20. *Student raises their hand with a worried look* Student: "He farted on me." 
21. Student: "Miss Short, can we play that fun vocabulary game you made?"
22. Student: " Don't you worry Miss Short. I will protect you! Me: " Oh ya? From what?" Student: "From all the bad guys after you." Me: "Oh, thank you for being my body guard!"
23. Student: "You must be from Texas." Me: "Why?" Student: " The way you talk, and it just seems right."
24. Student: "Why is your name Miss Short?" Other Student: "Because she's small. Duh!"
25. Me: "What are you thankful for?" Student: "Pigs!"
26. Teacher: "This is Miss Short's last week here." Student: " And where do you think you're going Miss Short?!" *Student put his hands on his hips and taps his foot*
27. Student: " You can't say no to a teacher…especially Miss Short."
28. Student: " I just want some chicken wings for Thanksgiving."
29. Student: " What is Black Friday?" Student: "The day where parents fight to get you what you want for Christmas."
30. Me: " This is how you do it" * Show student how to solve the problem* Student: "Well this awkward.

Working with over 100 kids within the 16 weeks has been a blast. I loved each of their little personalities. I am excited to begin my new journey as a 1st grade teacher!!! Students will always keep you on your toes, and you'll never know what will come out of their mouths! Teaching is by far the best career! 

Week 4: The Teacher that Could

God has been really working on me these last four weeks of student teaching. (In more ways than I can even describe).



I am always trying to be one step ahead of the game, but God has shown me that sometimes I just have to go with the current he directs me in. I have no idea what is in store for me come January. Who knows if I will get a permanent job...and if so, who knows what that job will entail (what grade, sub position, specialty, and etc.). 


As I am trying to find peace within the wait, I have been listening to my heart...something I am not very good at. I have discovered that my heart is totally in general education. I have realized being dual certified helps me become a resource to parents and students, who may need to the support...and I LOVE that. I have also realized I have no idea where I want to begin the job search. It's a bit of a scary thing for a girl who loves to have everything planned out.


I have also been shown that good things take time. As I was sharing in my previous update blogs, I have had a rough few weeks. I would come home questioning if I was making a difference, or if I was even a good teacher. This whole process has been harder than I thought it was going to be. I have discovered a TON of things I need to fix as a teacher, and as a person. It wasn't until last week I was reassured I am making a difference and that I am getting the hang of teaching.


I had a mom come into the classroom and tell me that her daughter has changed her attitude towards her homework. All the sudden she would come home and be eager to do her math homework. Come to find out it was when I started to take over math. Even though it is a small difference, it is something. I am excited I can make students excited about learning. 


I have also noticed a change in one of my students. I have one student in my classroom that I was told his family history during my first week of student teaching. It was a devastating story to hear that my first grader had to go through. I observed his behavior the first week and noticed he was angry child who most the time was spacey. 


Most the time teachers are quick to judge a child who is a behavior issue. I think if I didn't know his history, I would of fell in the same trap. Even though this student got a lot of stamps taking off his character card for his behavior, I always made sure to tell him I believe in him after he left school each day. I then got to work with him one-on-one with a writing assignment. Boy oh boy was he angry that I pulled him from something to work on writing. He kept wanting to give up, and thought the whole thing was stupid.  As he thought it was a chore to be in the back with me, I began to give some light to him by joking around to make the kid smile. Right then and there I realized I had not seen him genuinely laugh. Do you know how sad it is when a child can't laugh, or doesn't?! I found myself smiling so big just to see him LAUGH!!! It is such a priceless feeling to be a part of a child's joy. He began to loosen up and enjoy working on his assignment. Now instead of always being a grumpy, he is getting in trouble for being the class clown. Yes, it is still another behavior issue...but I rather have a child who is happy, than a child who is mad. We are still working on it, but boy oh boy did it feel good to see this kid LAUGH!


God has really challenged me so far, but I am so appreciative about it all. I have been broken down to be built stronger. The little victories making me so pumped that I can possibly be just a little bit of a positive influence. I am excited to see how God guides me and strengthens me through this time of transitioning. 

Week 3: The Awkward Stage of Teaching

Get Up. Teach.

Stand Up. Teach.

Sit Down. Teach.

Pass Out. Teach.

Those who know me, already know I am super awkward human being on any given day...The best way I can describe myself this last week in the classroom, was like a baby horse trying to stand up for the first time...it's awkward, they just can't do it, and when they do, they fall over. ( This was the first thing to come to my mind...don't ask)...on the plus side we all know once horse gets up and start standing, they do not like to fall down again. Ha. 

This week I started to take over the classroom for half a day. I felt pretty pumped in the beginning, knowing that I could add my own pizazz to things if I chose to. 

Monday struck... also known as the reenactment of Noah's Ark coming to Arizona. Rainy days in school in Arizona are rare, and difficult. Arizonians are known as the people who magically forget how to drive when it rains, and stare as the rain falls. I walked into the classroom drenched, and I looked up at the ceiling, and sure enough we had a leak. Districts were canceling school left and right, teachers were late getting to school, or couldn't make it all together...overall it was already chaotic. The principal originally asked my cooperating teacher to go instruct another class for a teacher who couldn't drive in the rain, while I taught my first graders...for the first time...EVER! I was fortunate enough to have my cooperating teacher with me while I experienced teaching my first graders for the first time. My students were ancy because they lost their special and recess... which only meant I had to be pretty entertaining to get their attention. 

As the week continued, I learned a lot about myself.

I discovered, I am a baby. I cried after the first couple of days of teaching. I felt like the crappiest teacher in the world. I would say things during my lesson, and after I said them, I would be like why the heck did I just say that, or that doesn't even make sense? I was so embarrassed to be teaching in front of my mentor. I felt like I was failing my students, but most importantly failing my cooperating teacher. I finally got the courage to ask my mentor how she thought I was doing, and how I could improve. I realized it takes a lot of courage to ask for help. I never thought I was going to be perfect at teaching, but I sure didn't think I would fail so hard, or be this hard on myself for making mistakes. I always heard horror stories of people crying during student teaching, but I never thought it would be me. I am not an emotional person. However, when you find something your passionate about, and experience failure...it really tugs at your heart. 

I have become a master of just going with it. My lessons got interrupted by hearing tests, early release, rescheduled specials, technical difficulties, and etc... That's when that famous phrase, "Keep calm and pretend it is on the lesson plan". By Friday, I became so immune to just going with it. A lot of times I made lessons up on the spot. 

I have learned it is okay not to be perfect. I know we always tell our students that, but for some reason, being such a perfectionist, I have the hardest time dealing with my imperfect qualities. 

What I Encourage

After admitting to needing help to my mentor, we have made it a daily routine to discuss our high and low of the day. This has really helped me. I am THE hardest critic on myself, and sometimes I focus so much on the bad, because I want things to be perfect. This makes me focus on something I thought went well during the day. To be honest, sometimes it is hard to pick just one low, but I always pick one that I know I can improve with some advice. My mentor gives me her feedback on how she thought I did, and it seems to help a ton. 

As I am still a baby horse trying to stand and become a mustang running off to the distant...I am soaking in these growing pains to help become the best teacher I can be. I know all good things take time.