Week 4: The Teacher that Could

God has been really working on me these last four weeks of student teaching. (In more ways than I can even describe).



I am always trying to be one step ahead of the game, but God has shown me that sometimes I just have to go with the current he directs me in. I have no idea what is in store for me come January. Who knows if I will get a permanent job...and if so, who knows what that job will entail (what grade, sub position, specialty, and etc.). 


As I am trying to find peace within the wait, I have been listening to my heart...something I am not very good at. I have discovered that my heart is totally in general education. I have realized being dual certified helps me become a resource to parents and students, who may need to the support...and I LOVE that. I have also realized I have no idea where I want to begin the job search. It's a bit of a scary thing for a girl who loves to have everything planned out.


I have also been shown that good things take time. As I was sharing in my previous update blogs, I have had a rough few weeks. I would come home questioning if I was making a difference, or if I was even a good teacher. This whole process has been harder than I thought it was going to be. I have discovered a TON of things I need to fix as a teacher, and as a person. It wasn't until last week I was reassured I am making a difference and that I am getting the hang of teaching.


I had a mom come into the classroom and tell me that her daughter has changed her attitude towards her homework. All the sudden she would come home and be eager to do her math homework. Come to find out it was when I started to take over math. Even though it is a small difference, it is something. I am excited I can make students excited about learning. 


I have also noticed a change in one of my students. I have one student in my classroom that I was told his family history during my first week of student teaching. It was a devastating story to hear that my first grader had to go through. I observed his behavior the first week and noticed he was angry child who most the time was spacey. 


Most the time teachers are quick to judge a child who is a behavior issue. I think if I didn't know his history, I would of fell in the same trap. Even though this student got a lot of stamps taking off his character card for his behavior, I always made sure to tell him I believe in him after he left school each day. I then got to work with him one-on-one with a writing assignment. Boy oh boy was he angry that I pulled him from something to work on writing. He kept wanting to give up, and thought the whole thing was stupid.  As he thought it was a chore to be in the back with me, I began to give some light to him by joking around to make the kid smile. Right then and there I realized I had not seen him genuinely laugh. Do you know how sad it is when a child can't laugh, or doesn't?! I found myself smiling so big just to see him LAUGH!!! It is such a priceless feeling to be a part of a child's joy. He began to loosen up and enjoy working on his assignment. Now instead of always being a grumpy, he is getting in trouble for being the class clown. Yes, it is still another behavior issue...but I rather have a child who is happy, than a child who is mad. We are still working on it, but boy oh boy did it feel good to see this kid LAUGH!


God has really challenged me so far, but I am so appreciative about it all. I have been broken down to be built stronger. The little victories making me so pumped that I can possibly be just a little bit of a positive influence. I am excited to see how God guides me and strengthens me through this time of transitioning. 

Week 3: The Awkward Stage of Teaching

Get Up. Teach.

Stand Up. Teach.

Sit Down. Teach.

Pass Out. Teach.

Those who know me, already know I am super awkward human being on any given day...The best way I can describe myself this last week in the classroom, was like a baby horse trying to stand up for the first time...it's awkward, they just can't do it, and when they do, they fall over. ( This was the first thing to come to my mind...don't ask)...on the plus side we all know once horse gets up and start standing, they do not like to fall down again. Ha. 

This week I started to take over the classroom for half a day. I felt pretty pumped in the beginning, knowing that I could add my own pizazz to things if I chose to. 

Monday struck... also known as the reenactment of Noah's Ark coming to Arizona. Rainy days in school in Arizona are rare, and difficult. Arizonians are known as the people who magically forget how to drive when it rains, and stare as the rain falls. I walked into the classroom drenched, and I looked up at the ceiling, and sure enough we had a leak. Districts were canceling school left and right, teachers were late getting to school, or couldn't make it all together...overall it was already chaotic. The principal originally asked my cooperating teacher to go instruct another class for a teacher who couldn't drive in the rain, while I taught my first graders...for the first time...EVER! I was fortunate enough to have my cooperating teacher with me while I experienced teaching my first graders for the first time. My students were ancy because they lost their special and recess... which only meant I had to be pretty entertaining to get their attention. 

As the week continued, I learned a lot about myself.

I discovered, I am a baby. I cried after the first couple of days of teaching. I felt like the crappiest teacher in the world. I would say things during my lesson, and after I said them, I would be like why the heck did I just say that, or that doesn't even make sense? I was so embarrassed to be teaching in front of my mentor. I felt like I was failing my students, but most importantly failing my cooperating teacher. I finally got the courage to ask my mentor how she thought I was doing, and how I could improve. I realized it takes a lot of courage to ask for help. I never thought I was going to be perfect at teaching, but I sure didn't think I would fail so hard, or be this hard on myself for making mistakes. I always heard horror stories of people crying during student teaching, but I never thought it would be me. I am not an emotional person. However, when you find something your passionate about, and experience failure...it really tugs at your heart. 

I have become a master of just going with it. My lessons got interrupted by hearing tests, early release, rescheduled specials, technical difficulties, and etc... That's when that famous phrase, "Keep calm and pretend it is on the lesson plan". By Friday, I became so immune to just going with it. A lot of times I made lessons up on the spot. 

I have learned it is okay not to be perfect. I know we always tell our students that, but for some reason, being such a perfectionist, I have the hardest time dealing with my imperfect qualities. 

What I Encourage

After admitting to needing help to my mentor, we have made it a daily routine to discuss our high and low of the day. This has really helped me. I am THE hardest critic on myself, and sometimes I focus so much on the bad, because I want things to be perfect. This makes me focus on something I thought went well during the day. To be honest, sometimes it is hard to pick just one low, but I always pick one that I know I can improve with some advice. My mentor gives me her feedback on how she thought I did, and it seems to help a ton. 

As I am still a baby horse trying to stand and become a mustang running off to the distant...I am soaking in these growing pains to help become the best teacher I can be. I know all good things take time. 

Week 2: Behind the Scenes of Student Teaching

I am trying my best to keep up with my weekly updates on student teaching...but please keep in mind, I am do 20 billion things at once...because that just the life of Natalie. 

This past week has been much better... I am still alive :) It has taking it one day at a time, so I don't get too overwhelmed. 

Let me just give you some insight on my life at the moment. 

I have been truly blessed to be able to keep my job as an event planner at GCU, and they have allowed me to work from home. Not only do I work for GCU, I also work for a dance studio....and I student teach. Call me crazy! I find myself laughing at myself thinking how I would make this work. 

These past two weeks have been quite an adjustment. I wake up at five in the morning, leave for school, and stay there until four or five each night. Depending on the day I go straight to the studio and teach my dance kiddos, or I come home and work for GCU. In the midst of that I also have to lesson plan and grade, along with a student teaching course. 

 I didn't realize the amount of hours I spent working until I was asked the other day... I work an average of  73 hours a week.

I am a big ball of stress, and I can only blame myself.... but I am trying to make it all work out.

My mind is never completely all there at the moment, because I am thinking of 22 billion different things. I apologize for all those who have encountered me through this time, I am not myself.... ha! I also apologize for all of those who I have not seen, I literally have no time.

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Things I have learned this week: To be stern...and to yell. 

I have learned that I am not a yeller, nor is it something I want to be very good at... However, when you are managing 24 first graders, you learn to raise your voice. For some reason I thought I had this mastered with being a dance teacher. I feel like I am always yelling over music and girls chatting, however, it is so different when your in an academic setting.

During week two, I was in charge of procedures, routines, and transitions. 

Let me just tell you, lining up 24 first graders up is a lot harder than you think. Once you get one kid in line, you have another one wiggling on the floor, or getting in a fight with the kid in front of them because they cut them in line.

I have been told in my college courses for years now, that classroom management is by far the hardest thing about teaching...and boy oh boy did I realize it last week.


Another thing I learned this week, is that no matter how much vitamin C, or the amount times you wash your hands, you will never beat all the germs of 24 first graders. My second week in I already felt the sickness. With the amount of working I am doing, I am trying to make sure I am getting enough sleep, so I have some type of rest to stay strong. 

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Each day it is getting better. I am no where near where I want to be as a teacher. I also know I am by far the hardest critic on myself, and expect perfection... but I also know that is not always realistic when you're a teacher. I have a lot of growing to do as a teacher.