The Single Woman’s
30-Day Blogging Challenge
"A Cup of Natalie" is a 30-Day
Single Woman Blog Challenge, another blogger created. I have served up a cup of coffee, with many shots of singleness {I bet your barista can't serve you that through the
drive-thru}.
Each day I was challenged to sit and reflect on
questions that were presented to me, which some dealt with singleness, and some
were completely random. Please feel free to brew yourself a cup of coffee,
while you get a little taste of what goes on in my mind and heart.
1) Your response to everyone’s
favorite question: “And why are YOU still single?”
This question I receive a lot when I
announce I'm single... part of me dreads this question. I can't help to be my
sassy self, and respond with, "Well if I knew, I wouldn't be single
anymore, would I?".... I feel like my world kind of stops when this
question is asked, and I really start questioning "Why am I still
single?". I just respond with "I don't know", and hope to move
on to the next conversation. I spend a lot of my days wondering why I am still
single, and what is the magical formula is to find a prince charming... and
unfortunately I still haven't discovered the magical potion, and once I do I
will let you all in a little secret.
2) Describe a moment or a day
when being single really sucked.
To be completely honest...being
single is really HARD!!! I'm not sure if it's just my case of singleness
( I know, I'm making it sound like a sickness), but everyday I find it
being harder and harder. The times that really suck are holidays... each year
on New Year's Eve I find myself being hopeful that this is going to be the year
I find the man...and each year I am disappointed and left kiss-less at midnight
(Yes please insert you playing your mini violin right here). It's hard watching
your friends post pictures of them and their significant other in front of the
Christmas tree, or watching fireworks together eating a hamburger, and etc. ...
You have no idea how many times I wish I was them. It's even suckier going out
and being the third wheel, or being the girl that can't attract a guy to save
her life...I am constantly finding those moments that should be joyful, sucking
because I am aware I am missing something in my life. Occasionally I feel like
my life is bullying me into feeling so cruddy at these moments. It's hard
craving something you can't control, and it's even harder to live in a world
where singleness is looked as like a disease.
3) Describe a moment or a day
when being single was really awesome.
Knowing that I am completely free is
awesome. I realize there is always a positive and negative side of
something...and even with being single, there is a positive side to it. Even
though I am not content with being alone, I am happy that I kept striving for goals
that I could accomplish. I went to school, got good grades, got a degree, got
closer to God, got accepted in dance companies, made wonderful friendships, was
active in school, and etc. Who knows what it would of been like if a guy was in
the picture?
4) Your biggest fear as a single
person.
Lets face it...being alone my ENTIRE
life is my biggest fear. I think that's why I feel so worried about my future.
I do not want to live my entire life not being loved, and not loving someone else.
One of my biggest dreams is to fall in love with the most perfect man for me. I
also fear how being single forever is going to affect me in the long run...it's
already a challenge now, let alone tacking on more years onto it.
5) The biggest misconception you
think people have about single life
I was invited to a college night
event at a church one time. There was a speaker who spoke about singleness and
the way it looked at by others, and I found myself saying in the back of my
mind saying, "AMEN!” to everything the man was saying. I found it
odd that it was my first visit there, and it was something I was struggling with.
The speaker went on to talk about how so many people in the church act as if
singleness is a disease. I know in society we have it in our minds we have to
meet the certain life timeline such as, you date at this age, get purposed to
at this age, get married, and have babies.... and if you don't meet the
guidelines then there might be something wrong with you... In my heart I know
there is nothing wrong with not following the criteria exactly...but in my
mind, I have been so brainwashed by society that I NEED to meet all those steps
in order to be "happy". People tend to push the single ones into
rushing to find the one, but do not realize there is some beauty into being
single.
6) Sound off on the quote “Every
woman has the exact love life she wants”
I might have to argue that... but
please remember I know nothing about relationships, so I am not a credible
source to quote…ha. Any-who... I think this statement is false. Not because I
don't think people deserve what they want, but I think when it comes to love,
and loving someone, we get what we NEED! What the heck do you mean by this,
Natalie...?! Well, my friends, I think when you begin a relationship with
someone, you find qualities in that person, that you NEED to be happy, or you
discover the reason why you NEED this person in your life. Of course we want a
guy who is super handsome, and love puppies...but do we NEED that? (Okay maybe
I need the loving puppies thing...but really).
Sometimes you will find qualities in
that person, that you never knew you needed, until you discover you found the
missing puzzle piece that you NEEDED to create your masterpiece. I know it sounds like a silly
explanation...however, over the years I discovered sometimes people are selfish
in their relationships. I have had friends who only continue their
relationships because of things they want. They find themselves very unhappy in
their relationship, and wondering why it is not working. Well my friend, do you
need them? Or do you want them because they smell nice and have a lot of
money?
And for those single girls out there,
like myself... this isn't exactly what I wanted or had planned. However,
maybe this is what we needed. Maybe we need these extra days, months, or years
to find out who we are, or to follow God's plan for us. Trust me I know how
unbearable, and lonely it gets, but there is so MUCH more to life than a
relationship status. Find joy in your daily living, instead of your daily
wanting.
7) Where you are in your life
vs. where you thought you would be at this point?
I thought by this point in my life, I
would be in long relationship, or engaged, and perhaps even married. And yes,
of course I'd love that... I would feel as if I was a part of the bandwagon so
many of my friends are on...but there's always someone different, and I think
that's me. I know it is not a bad thing to be different, but I think a lot of
people who are on the wagon, don't understand that it's okay for me to walk
along the sidewalk instead of cramming myself into a wagon that God didn't
intend for me to be in yet.
I have realized that I have never had
an enough time for a man, nor was I stable for one in the past years. I am a
go-getter...meaning I do what I want to do, and I don't slow down for people...
(Of course there's more reasons of why I have been alone, but this a huge
factor). I know this sounds completely selfish, and I truly do not want to be
perceived that way, but I was creating my life and still growing as an
individual. However, I am still very young, and the years I spent without a man,
I was setting a foundation for my future, and doing things I loved doing! Of
course I would of loved of sharing my successes and failures with someone by my
side, but that was not an option...so I kept going.
I think now that I have completed
school, and am starting to slow down (even though there's no such thing as
slowing down in Natalie's world), it more apparent to me that I really want
that special man by my side. But that's life...it doesn't go according to the
plan, nor do you always get what you want. Am I supposed to stop living my life
because I don't have that man? No!!
8) Five
things that are most important to you in a future mate
- Loves Jesus
- A good sense of humor (I like
jokes)
- My best friend (So I cheated with
this one because really there are a lot of features in a best friend...but I
want to feel comfortable with my future mate as we are best friends and can
just hang out, tell jokes, have great talks..etc.).
- Honest
-Hard working
9) Your favorite “weird/funny
single behavior” – Anything you do that is uniquely YOU and that living alone
allows you to do
I am a weirdo no matter what! {All
that know me know this is true}. I love dancing ugly. I have been trained in
dance for years, but my favorite type of dance, is "ugly dancing"
{The style of dancing that that takes no technique, and it looks like you are
having a seizure}. I think if you really knew me, you would know what this
looked like haha. What other weird/funny behavior do I participate in? Well, I
love making up outrageous songs and singing them on top of my lungs...most of
all I like roaming my house like train wreck doing all of these things... I'm a
big goofball...I would only hope whoever my soul mate is, allows me to do
continue my ways, and perhaps participate in the wildness. :)
10) Google the meaning of your
name and talk about how it fits or doesn’t fit you
Natalie means birthday, or is
referred to birth of Christ... What are my first thoughts of this discovery?
Well I sound like a party then...but to be the meaning of the birth of Christ!
WOWZERS!! That's big!
Urban dictionary describes me as:
"A very pretty girl who is shy
at first but then she will open up. She is very trustworthy and has a great
sense of humor. She falls for people fast and doesn't trust easily. She is
beautiful inside and out people just don't realize it... yet. She’s kickass and
a great friend to have."
I think this pretty accurate. I am
an observer when I first meet people, so it tends to come off as shy... I'm
scared to spill everything about my life to everyone, because I hate being
vulnerable. I love being silly, and anything that involves humor. You can never
take life to seriously, therefore be sarcastic and silly! I think the last part
where it mentions "she is beautiful inside and out people just don't
realize it...yet.” is hard for me to swallow. I never want to sound like I'm
conceded so I have a hard time calling myself beautiful...However, I do think a
lot of people tend to oversee me... I kind of get lost in the midst of a bunch
of people.
11) Your worst/funniest/most
embarrassing date
Let me just tell you blind dates are
awful and completely awkward. (I've only experienced one, and I think that one
time did it for me). How about a guy who meets you at the wrong restaurant so
you're waiting for him to get to the right place, and then once he gets there,
he decides not to eat when he was the one that who decided to go to the
restaurant...don't mind the whale eating next to you! HA! AWFUL!
12) Your proudest accomplishment
Finishing school!!! Never in a
million years did I think I would get a degree!!!
13) Describe how you met the
last person you texted and talk about your friendship/relationship
I met the last person I texted by
going to her mom's studio at the age of 8. She is now my boss, my mentor, and
such a great friend! She has done a lot for me and I completely respect her.
She's a gem.
14) Describe the last moment you
felt really, truly blissful
Being able to teach kids, and be a
part of their lives brings so much joy into my life. Kids are so genuine, and I
believe I learn the most from them. I love their honest nature, and how they
speak truth...even if sometimes it's too far. I have loved being able to work
many kiddos whether it be in the classroom or at the studio. <3
15) Narrate a conversation
between you and someone in your life who you never had closure with (a friend,
an ex, a family member, etc.) What would you say? What would they say? What
outcome would you hope for?
I think the only closure I would
want, is to say I love you one more time to those I have lost. I have really
learned the value of I love yous, extra hugs, and just spending time with those
you mean a lot to you... you never know when will be yours or their last
day.
16) If you planted a time
capsule right now of your life to be opened in 20 years, what would be in it?
Hmmm.. I would put in a picture of my
family, probably something dance related, a goal I have at the moment, and a CD
of my favorite song at the time.
17) What are your spiritual
beliefs and how do they impact your relationships/relationship status?
I love Jesus. End of story!
So I am a young Christian woman...and
I'm single. With my faith, I believe that God knows the desire of my heart, and
will fulfill those desires (someday). However, I do find my spiritual beliefs
impacting me by having the pressure of being in a relationship. Like I
mentioned before, a lot of people, and even people from the church think they
need to cure you because you are single. I mean, I'm not a genius, but by
putting the importance, and the pressure of finding someone doesn't cure my singleness...nor
is it necessary.
I went to good ol' GCU, a Christian
college, where most girls signed up to get their "Mrs." degree. When
I first began my college experience at a community college I was able to keep
myself busy, and not notice my "singleness". However, it wasn't until
I transferred to GCU, and lived on campus I really began to recognize my
loneliness, and the felt the pressure of finding the man so I can begin my
future career with a new last name...obviously this didn't happen for me. Seeing
couples walk past you, hang out in the same areas you were at was constantly
rubbed in my face. The constant pressure of finding "the one" is
overwhelming. I know we should focus our hearts on other things, I mean after
all we are Christian, and we should focus our hearts on God...not an individual...where
did that get lost in the church? I love my faith, don't get me wrong, but I
think in general we need to stop thinking we can "cure" people of
singleness. Being single isn't a sickness, it just happens to be my lifestyle
in this long chapter of my life.
18) If you could have a
conversation with yourself in high school, what would you say?
Live YOUR life. As many teenagers, I
was trying so hard to fit in. With the battle of fitting in, I lost who I was,
and I was never seen for being Natalie. I was always seen as a group of
friends, not as an individual. It wasn't until my college years when I
separated from my high school friends, that I felt like I grew up and
discovered who I was.
19) What is something about you
that people would be surprised to learn?
I am actually more tomboyish than you
think... of course I love me some fashion, but I love outdoors, adventuring,
and getting dirty... But going along the route of the blog challenge of being a
single woman... I hurt a lot more than I give off. A lot of times I make jokes
about being lonely, but in reality I feel kind of lost and forgotten in this
midst of confusion of why my life isn't where other people's lives are at. I'm
not saying I am not a happy person, I love laughing, making jokes, and making
others happy...I can find joy in pretty much anything. But there’s a lot of
brokenness a lot of people don't know about me. {I hate sounding like a whiner
factory, but I am being VULNERABLE by doing this challenge}. I guess what I'm
trying to say is that I come across that I have my life together, and I
everything is peachy. But like most people, I do not have my life together, and
sometimes life gets messy.
20) Describe your most difficult
breakup and what you learned from it?
This is a JOKE...
21) How would you pitch a
reality show about yourself? To what network?
I am entertaining!! I am honestly
surprised I don't have a show yet! I am beyond awkward, and my awkwardness gets
me into some weird situations...but overall I am REAL. I'm just saying this
should happen. {Besides I have a lot of jokes to share to the world...and cute
dogs}
22) What fictional character in
a movie, TV show, or book do you identify with and why?
Belle from Beauty and the Beast. She
is the princess I have been obsessed with ever since I was little. I love the
fact she's smart, nice, and kind hearted. She's an inspiration of how I want to
be. I want to be a woman who is selfless, loyal, and driven. I know it sounds
completely silly to want a Disney Princess's life. But I have always loved
Belle and her character.
23) Talk about a moment when you
got annoyed with a married friend, a person in a relationship, or a person with
kids (Be honest! No judgment!)
Now I don't want this to sound bratty
at all, so please do not be offended...
{A little disclaimer: I am happy for
you and your lover, but please just hear me out}
I don't think I get
"annoyed" with them...I get more frustrated because I am back at the
point where I realize I don't have anyone like them. It is never fun asking
your friends to hangout, and they say they can't because they are celebrating
their 4 month anniversary...or so forth...and then I have all the availability
in the world. (I know this is just a silly scenario). I get it things come up,
and you should have those dates with your lover. But those moments when I am
home alone because all my friends are out on dates, and then scrolling through
Facebook/ Instagram seeing more people in love is really HARD! Love surrounds
me, but I am never in it, and it's overall just a vicious tornado for me.
It does become hard to be happy for
your friends in relationships, when there is a piece of bitterness and
frustration for them not understanding where you are coming from. The topic of
being in relationships always comes up when I am with my friends, and they
always say, "You should be happy you're not in a relationship."....
Really?!I am pretty sure you are in a steady relationship and loving life
because of that.... how could I not desire that... I think a lot of my friends
who are in relationship don't find me "as interesting" because I am
single. I know I am probably making this all up in my head, and over thinking
people's actions. But there is a sense of awkwardness when people do not know
how to continue conversations after I ask them how them and their significant
other are..."So Natalie, how are you, and ugh...yourself?" Haha! Like
I mentioned before, a lot of conversations involve, "Natalie, I just want you
to be happy....mmm...maybe you should look into online dating." I
understand they want me to be happy...but these are just the silly things that
come up that kind of hurt my heart a little. {Surprise, surprise I have a heart
people}.
I guess the part where I become
annoyed is when they do not quite understand it is a bit of struggle of being a
single as a twenty something year old. I know being in relationship won't be
all rainbows and butterflies. But it a challenge living a single life in a
world that focuses on being in a relationship as soon as you hit your
twenties.
24) If you could relive ONE day
of your life, what would it be? And would you change anything?
I just want to relive my college
years. I wish I would of started at GCU right way!! I absolutely loved my
experience at GCU, but I felt like it was cut short with only spending two
years there. I just loved the people I was surrounded by, and the vibe of the
school. I felt so much growth in those two years, than in my entire life.
25)Describe a moment when you “paid
it forward.” What happened and how did it feel?
This is very strange, because it
actually just happened to me today. I was rushing to get to work, but of course
left myself plenty of time to go to Starbucks to start my morning off with
coffee. {It just makes sense}. I was already overwhelmed making my to do list
in my head, and worrying about everything else... and just not having the best
morning. As I finally got to the window to pay, the cashier said, "You
don't have to pay for your drink, the person in front of you already paid for
you."... I'm pretty sure I gave the guy a funny look because I was
shocked. I accepted my drink, and I said, "Wait, can I pay for the person
behind me." The cashier looked at me kind of stunned there was a chain
reaction happening, and told me the price of the person behind me.
It made my day having a stranger do
such a nice deed for me. She/he had no idea of what I was going through, and
just a small free coffee made my entire day brighter! I hope the person behind
me felt the same way, and kept the chain going...and if not, that is okay too,
it made my heart happy! This moment in my life encouraged me to do more random
acts of kindness.
26) Name a song that makes you
cry every time you hear it and why?
To be honest I am not much a crier...so
I don't really have a song. But if for some reason I'm feeling down, the song
"The House that Built Me" by Miranda Lambert, or the song "Drink
a Beer" by Luke Bryan gets to me... those two songs in particular remind
me of some personal events in my life.
27) Talk about two things that
you really, really, really love about yourself.
I normally don't boast about myself,
so I find this awkward, but here we go...
I love my work ethic. No matter how
big the mountain is, I always overcome it! {Sometimes I even surprise myself}.
I work my booty off to get things done, and to get it done right the first
time. There's a little peace of mind knowing that everything I have received I
have worked hard for...and that is something to be proud of.
I love receiving the compliment,
"you are so easy to talk to", or "you make people feel at
home". I love the fact that people feel comfortable with me. This past
year on leadership, I was given the opportunity to connect with a lot of people
I probably would have never of met, if it wasn't for my position at school. I
loved the fact that I had people coming up to me telling me their highs and
lows, and just wanting to be in my presence, and seek me for encouragement, or
just someone to lean on. I am happy to be someone’s outlet. I love building
relationships because you can always learn something from someone else.
28) Describe a moment when you
made a big, bold move. In any area of life: Career, Love, etc.
Most the time I live life on the safe
side, therefore I don't have an extreme bold move. A pretty bold move for me
was choosing my colleges. I first chose a community college that most of my
friends from high school didn't go to. I chose based off a great program for
what I was studying, and the dance program there. Not being surrounded by my
high school friends really challenged myself to find out who I was as opposed
to being in a group of people. After I was done there, I decided to move
Phoenix to attend Grand Canyon University. By far, the best decision I have
EVER made. Living away from my family, being able to have the opportunity to
become active in my school really made me discover who I was, and what I stood
for. It was a good thing for me to be uncomfortable with all the change,
because it challenged me. Not to mention the growth of my relationship with
Christ grew because I was surrounded by believers and supporters. This was a
bold move for me because I have always been close to my family, never had any
huge changes in my life... and with this journey of my life, I had to adjust
and be uncomfortable for a few months while I adapted. Choosing to go to a
Christian college was another bold move... I am not surrounded by a bunch of
Christ followers in my family and group of friends, so they kind of mocked with
this move. But in my heart I knew I needed this, and went for it, and I am
sooooooo glad I did.
29) Who is your closest or most
special friend that you’ve ever met and what do they mean to you? How did you
cross paths? Talk about how you “met” them: Facebook, Twitter, an online
support group, etc.
Oh goodness! I can't just pick one! I
think everyone in my life has influenced it for the better. People make up the
pieces of my life, and I think everyone needs a group of solid people to be
their cheerleaders. Everyone is good at something...some are better listeners,
great advice givers, wonderful entertainment, extreme cheerleaders, and etc. ..
Having a mix of people, guarantees I can always find the support I need, and
that means the WORLD to me!
30) Write a letter to your
future mate saying whatever you want to say
{Coming later to the Simply Lovely
Blog... it may take me a while}
And there you have it...a small
tidbit of Natalie's mind and heart. If you ever want to grab coffee, and talk
about items on this, or just life in general, please feel free!!! I love me
some coffee time :)
xoxo
Natalie
Invite anyone who you think might be interested to
participate. Post links to your blog posts in the comments below so I can check
them out!
