Disclaimer: I write my corky blog posts to express my thoughts…my thoughts are pretty much a huge tumbleweed inside my head. I apologize if this doesn't make sense to you. :)
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I recently was asked by my professor at GCU to come talk to student teachers about the transition into my role as a first year teacher. As I sat and ponder about the best advice to give student teachers that I once was in class with… I began to think of how crazy the transition from college to career really is. I felt like no matter what I told the student teachers, it wasn't going to be good enough. No one can teach or prepare you for the emotions you will encounter through the journey into finding a career…and even the emotions you'll have when you have your "dream job".
Sure, you go to school for 4+ years and study your future career, write a ton of papers, stay up way too late at night… but what does college teach you about the transition? (Mind you I'm not putting down my college experience..but just think about it)
As I began my transition from college to career, I was not prepared of the emotions I was about to encounter. The stress from putting in applications/resumes, the insecurity of not finding a job, having a weird "homesick" feeling from living off campus without your friends, and then to all pressure of where you should be as a college graduate. There were days I felt completely drained from running around like a chicken with their head cut off. I had no idea where my life was going...and what I should be doing.
The best way I can describe this feeling, is like the first time you take off your training wheels on your bike and you just go for it...you hope you don't fall over...but then you realize you have to fall eventually before you grasp the skill of riding a bike. It is by far a nerveracking moment. You want to succeed, but knowing there are going to be a lot of "falls" on the way until you reach your destination. Let me just tell you I had a ton of falls, or moments where I felt I wasn't riding my "bike" in the right direction.
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After I wrapped up my night up with the student teachers, I went to see some friends that still attended GCU. Most asked about how life is...and all I wanted to do was laugh at the question. During this whole time of transitioning I have felt like a sock in washmachine, just tossed around, drowning in soap and water (Yes, a weird thing to feel like, but you must know who's blog you are reading). In the past three months I have been drowning in new passwords to memorize, names to master, "to do" lists the size of Mount Everest, master being an adult, while trying to keep my own health and happiness under control. Sure it's not a lot to those veterans who have been "adults" for a while…but lets face it….when its brand spankin' new, its a A LOT!
I was one of those people who said "I can't wait to get out of college, and do life!"… A phrase I wish I hadn't said. I would give anything to be in the little safe haven that college is. You don't realize how easy, and good you had it until it is gone! So for all of those that are saying statements like this...STOP! Enjoy your college experience. Sure writing papers sucks…but just wait until big kid life happens. Once you're in, there's no going back.
Life after college has been quite a struggle for me to adjust to. I lived in moments where I had no idea what was next. A HUGE adjustment when I was so comfortable planning my little life before. I had little to no control where my career was going to take me (or if it was going to take me anywhere). I have felt a different sense of loneliness I am not used used to. I don't have my friends just doors down from my room to go hangout with… In fact, that was the hardest things to get used to. It's hard seeing your friends that still attend school having such a great time going to all the school events, while you're trying to managed a new set of responsibility. I didn't realize how great the community my college had, and how my peers supported me day to day. Once you get thrown into the real world you don't get much encouragement.
Mind you, I am not complaining about my life now. I am extremely excited where my life is and where it is headed…but I'm not going to sugar coat it….it has been a very long and hard process. This blog is not to scare you from graduating, but to encourage those that are still in school to enjoy the time, and for those who aren't…to tell you it will all work out.
I encourage you to just breathe, and have faith in God. Your life will unfold, and you will reach your destination. It will take some band-aids and tears to be an expert bike rider.
xoxo-Natalie
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